Met Eireann issue "indefinite" yellow weather warning

Met Eireann today have issued their first ever “indefinite” yellow weather warning for all of Ireland for the foreseeable future, in a move that is being described as “saving the public from countless redundant weather reports”.

Ireland has been suffering through heavy winds, consistent rainfall, and the absence of any real sunlight for as long as one can remember, and this new move is set to reflect the current Ireland situation.

An official has stated that, “We were getting kinda bored, warning people of winds and stuff every single day, it’s getting monotonous. Everyone knows the weather is shite. It’s Ireland. So from now on, just take it for granted that the weather will be bad, and if it changes we’ll let you know with our “green celebration message”.

The new weather system is set to get underway immediately, with the first green celebration predicted for July 12th, where the sun is expected to shine from 12.15-12.22pm

This new measure is set to save Met Eireann thousands of euros in admin costs, and allow for lessy spammy weather reports on everyone's news feed.

When asked about the advantages of this new system, Met Eireann employee said“ Oh it’s brilliant. It’ll give me much more time to start my novel. It’s about a mild mannered Irish weather reporter, Jack Storm, who solves crimes in his spare time by predicting weather patterns”.

“Weathering The Storm” will hit bookshelves in the late fall.

By Ross McCarthy