Bebo & Myspace on high alert, as Kylie Jenner disowns Snapchat

Failed platforms in frenzy, as Kylie Jenner searches for a new social media home.

 

According to reports, former social media giant Bebo are preparing a sensational swoop for cultural icon Kylie Jenner, in an extraordinary attempt to become socially relevant again. However, a bidding war is set to take place, as they will face stiff competition from Myspace, who are just as desperate to secure the Kardashian’s services.

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Bebo and Myspace, once two giants of the social media game, have somewhat lagged in recent years, seeing their popularity fall behind the likes of Facebook, Twitter, and even your local churches weekly community bulletin. However, a ray of hope was offered last week when social media influencer Kylie Jenner, who was left confused and scared at a new update, decided to leave Snapchat. Jenner, reportedly disliked the app’s new design, claiming it was “Totally not dope anymore”. Her tweets and criticism are said to have caused Snapchat to lose over €1 billion in value, in what has been described as a “very, very sad world we live in”...

Now one of the most sought after social media free agents on the planet, Kylie Jenner, is a hot target for any failing social media apps hoping to rescue their failing brands.

When asked to comment, a Bebo representative stated “This is our big chance, our comeback, we will no longer belong to the past like corded phones or Aertel Teletext, Bebo will reign supreme again! *hysterical laughing*”. Myspace have also chimed in claiming, “There’s this really cool band playing down the road, you should go see them and bring your friends.”

Surprisingly missing from the list of prospective suitors for Kylie Jenner services was the equally useless social media app, Google Plus. Upon questioning, Google worker Keith stated “Oh shit, did I not take that thing down? Oh jeez...Cyril’s gonna have my legs broke.”

By Ross McCarthy