Physicists' stunned as size 32 jeans does not fit 32 inch waist

Scientific anomaly could cause the end of the world as we know it!


Mathematicians and scientists across the world were stunned today when an unusual discovery was made in the Irish town of Galway.

Michael, a 22 year old physics student from NUI Galway, went to a retail unit to buy a pair of jeans. Not wanting to try on multiple pairs he decided to measure himself, revealing a 32 inch waist. However, disaster struck when he attempted to fit into a pair of 32 inch jeans, only to find they were too tight. “I couldn’t believe it” Michael claims. “It just didn’t make any sense. It was my size, but yet it wasn’t?”

But this was only the beginning of the the nightmare, as further investigation revealed a shocking truth that would shake the student to his very core. “And it wasn’t just one pair, I tried on loads and they all didn’t fit! Some were big, some were small, all different. It’s like the whole measurement system was a joke!”

Michael showed the issue to a member of staff, who became just as perplexed as him with the problem.


An investigation is now underway, with a team of operational physicists and mathematicians to get to the bottom of this strange issue.

University lecturer, Jerome, claims that this is far bigger than anyone can fathom.

“This is a truly astonishing discovery. We are now reevaluating our entire concept of mathematics. Mathematics is based on the principle of 1=1. But this? This has just thrown the entire scientific world into chaos. E=mc2? It's worth nothing. It's meaningless now!" Jerome further stated “Something has gone drastically wrong. It could be mathematics, it could be measurement, it could be the very atoms our world is made of! This will have far reaching implication for the entire world.”


Some people have called this the beginning of the apocalypse. Others have different ideas.

A local florist, who for some reason has an opinion on science, claims “It’s like we found a glitch in the matrix, as if we’re in a computer programme and this is an error code. We must find "The One". Hollywood star, Laurence Fishburne, who portrayed Morpheus in the sci fi epic “The Matrix”, was unfortunately unavailable for comment....


Author: Ross McCarthy

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